Twenty Days

I came to a decision nine months ago that has altered the course of my life in ways that I have already seen and in ways it may take years to recognize and appreciate.  Through prayer, self-reflection and the love and support of my family and friends, I have decided to have a surgery (gastric banding )  that will help me become the healthy person God made me to be.  My adventure begins in twenty days.

My weight has been a subject I have done my very best to ignore for so long.  I am reminded every day of the effects it has on my life, my body and my spirit.  I am also however, the very best at ignoring those signs pushing them down and away until I can't see them even if just for a little while.  It is how I deal with conflict, and sadness and grief and frustration, pick the emotion and I can tell you how I avoid it.  I wish I could tell you that on that day this past March, I had an epiphany and suddenly realized that I was worth it, but it is nothing quite so dramatic.  Looking back I just chose to listen to a friend and finally follow through with her suggestion instead of nodding and agreeing but shoving it back into the abyss of my mind.

So I made the call, scheduled the appointment for a consultation and drove the hour or so up to Michigan. Of course, I was so nervous, and had to make several texts and calls to said friend/s for support.  It was just a consult after all.  But I left that day, having made the decision to finally do something.  I spent the following 6 months meeting insurance guidelines and waiting.  I met the the requirements in November and the information was sent to them, I received my approval letter earlier this month.  And now, I have twenty days until my life changes forever.

I have started this blog in hopes that it will help keep me accountable throughout this process.  I ask for your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey towards good health.

I am adding this photo as a reminder of where I want to be come this July.  It was one of my favorite days on vacation this past July, but also quite miserable because of the heat and how my body responds to the heat because of my weight.  I was physically miserable that day, and because of how I felt, I just wanted to go back to the hotel and not do anything else.  If you've never been to D.C. it's a walking city to be sure, I am too fat and out of shape for that to work for very long.  I'd just assume jump the metro for 2 stops then walk up the Mall.  The next time I go there I want it to be different, I want to have so much energy they have to drag me out of the Smithsonian's at closing time (well not really, but you get my point).  I have missed so much and continue to miss so much because of my weight and I will work as hard as I have to, to make this tool (Lap Band) work for me.

Addition 1.10.11

WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL
WASHINGTON D.C. JULY 2010